don’t be such a perfectionist

I want to be real with you guys. I don’t want to get caught up in all the societal madness and standards of digital creation. 

I think it’s beautiful that we get to share scripture and connect with people from all over on a digital platform. 

I just want to share content with you that may encourage or invite you to see for yourself what a real relationship with God is. 

Digital platforms can be wiped away in the blink of an eye. 

I just want to share what’s on my heart, and I just pray that you would be encouraged to seek God yourself. 

Perfectionism leads to a vicious cycle. Don’t entertain a hunger for perfection. You’ll empty yourself again and again, running in circles. Perfect looks different for everybody.

I don’t want to find it in myself everyday to cover up my acne, or wear mascara, or feel down because my face was puffy when I woke up this morning. 

I want to know where my heart is and what God is doing in me. In this season, I’ve learned so much about true identity. The more I focus on God, the less I see to obsess over in myself. I don’t want to be perfect by the ever-changing standards of society. I want to see Christ. 

—- 

This is just a page from my art journal, real handwritten (unedited) thoughts, and a regular selfie with no edits because I’m not here to meet a standard, I’m just here to be me.  

Matthew 5:6

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”

Matthew 19:21 

Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”


in your prescence, there is peace

Healing is not always a single ‘moment’. 

I feel like for some time I was waiting for some radical change, grand revelation, reassurance, or even just confirmation that I am whole and healed. 

I was feeling like I had to reach a point where I put my feet on the ground every morning thinking “okay, this is me, this is what I do. I have reason and purpose. I don’t have questions about anything. I know who I am, and I’m good.”

I was waiting for some sort of acknowledgment, or the lighting of a match almost. A fire within me that would blind me from the fear and anxiety that crippled my mind. 

I was just thinking that through the healing process,  “I’m not enough right now.”

“My heart is not in a place for new things, yet.”

Thinking “I am waiting to reach a point where I know that things are different.” The “Aha!” moment. I’ll just wake up one morning and I’ll hit the ground running. 

It wasn’t news to me that I was broken. I felt broken and I knew of the tainted areas in my life that God had washed away. But I didn’t know (and don’t ever need to know) the answer to everything. My mind was occupied by all the wrongs and I felt like I deserved to feel bad for sometime. I was torn with condemnation. 

God doesn’t owe me anything. No insight or glimpses into the plan He has for me. Even if I have to go my whole life trusting and believing with faith the size of a mustard seed, that’s all I need, and  I wouldn’t turn away. The Holy Spirit gives us grace and when we seek Him first, He shows us the healing through his ways. 

He shows us what love really looks like. 

He shows us what life was really meant to feel/live like. 

Truth is, when we realize the tainted areas of ourselves that bring shame, disgust, and other deadening emotions – God already knows all of this from the beginning to the end.  

A life with Christ is never about reaching perfection or righting all the wrongs. Yes, we need to repent and turn away from old things but the reason is because what we are created for is REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. God wants us to seek Him.  To get back to this, we need to be honest with ourselves and come to God with an open heart. 

Don’t worry about what your parents/family did (or are doing), don’t worry about what those people said, don’t worry about what the enemy tries to trip you up with. Come to God and earnestly seek to learn his character, and in turn you will understand who you really are. Forgiving ourselves and each other isn’t about forgetting and excusing the wrongdoings, its about fully opening our hearts to be healed and transformed through His love and forgiveness. 

Good things take time. 

Healthy relationships take time and effort. 

Identity is not blurry or confusing, and certainly not “fluid”. 

You are who you are because God created you and he is inviting you into his presence. It’s not scary or disappointing to need healing (a lie I once believed). 

God knew you and your troubles before you could even understand or comprehend any detail of this life. 

We are so loved. We are not perfect and things are not always going to be the way that they are. There is a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3), and the Holy Spirit gives us grace and guidance through it all. 

God is author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12). Don’t let anyone’s actions define God, and by all means don’t allow the enemy’s toxicity to paralyze you. 

Fight the good fight (2 Timothy 4:7). Fight for your mind and your heart (its never too late to start). God has already won this war, you don’t need to worry about the little battles in this life. 

I’m not inviting apathy or carelessness by encouraging those who read this not to worry about anything. I’m trying to invoke a new perspective on the lies that once enveloped my mind, and may be doing the same in yours. 

I’m writing about full surrender. About understanding that we don’t need to be obsessed with hitting the mark every time and suddenly spiraling down a rabbit hole of fear, shame, guilt, anxiety, and self-hatred when condemnation seeps in. 

We have the power to fight. You are not left to your own devices (Ephesians 6), and no matter how long it takes you to get out of the rabbit hole just know that the Holy Spirit is with you. There’s so much more that I could go on about, but my point is that healing is not a simple equation for us to figure out or solve. 

Healing is found in the truth. The truth that sets us free (John 8:32). Life is continuous. It goes on and on until the end of time. There isn’t anything new under the sun, but no matter what era, century, year, or day you are alive during – God cares and He is there. God knows the beginning and the end. We don’t need to worry, we just need to trust in Him. We need to stand firm in His promise and persevere. He doesn’t leave us alone to figure all this out. We have the Holy Spirit, and we have our identity in Christ. 

We need God’s strength everyday, not just when we want something or go through something. ‘Christ is risen’ applies to every day, every person, and every situation. 

The enemy can try all he wants to disarm believers, and sometimes we do fall and claim defeat. God calls us to Him, and He draws us near, no matter how many times we have to get back up and keep going. 

Just remember that it’s all a process and God is faithful. God wants to hear us tell Him our joys and all our troubles in this life. Allow yourself to seek God, yourself. Don’t base your faith or who God is simply on your environment or the people surrounding you. Ask God for depth and pure, whole-hearted relationship with Him. 

You won’t be disappointed. You’ll soon learn what true love looks like, and the depths that bring you the greatest of peace and comforts. 


holy spirit indwelling

Romans 8:9

“You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit,

if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you.

Anyone who does not have the

Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.”

1 Corinthians 6:19 

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of

the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?

You are not your own,”

John 14:26 

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father

will send in my name, he will teach you all

things and bring to your remembrance all that

I have said to you.”

Romans 8:26 

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

For we do not know what to pray for as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us

with groanings too deep for words.”


a trip to portland, oregon

God is so good. I know I practically start almost every post like this, but I really mean it. I hate to think that I have doubted God in the past and that I was someone that didn’t hold on to hope but I was that person. I reached a point where I could not see the bright of anything at all. A glass half empty or nearly empty was the mindset that occupied my mind. I don’t feel that way anymore. Seeing how God works and intricately weaves purpose and grace together for my good.

He is goodness.

He is grace.

I hate to think I ever doubted God. I’m reminded every day that his mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). God is everything I have ever longed for or needed. I lack nothing in Christ. His grace surrounds me, His mercy follows me wherever I go.

I just pray that I would remain fervent in spirit (Romans 12:11). No matter the circumstance. No matter the fear or distraction that the enemy tries to distract me with. I know who I am because Christ lives in me……

I know who I am because Christ lives in me.



We still raise our flag

We are fighting a battle within the war.

Let there be many trials and tribulations, 

this does not stop the plans of God. 

The enemy plots against us, 

yet he knows we are on the winning side. 

We take joy in these trials. 

We will still raise our flag. 


self-harm awareness month

It’s #SelfHarmAwarenessMonth. I just wanted to share some verses that pertain to who we are in Christ, and how God sees us. Sometimes we go through trials in our life and we try to cope in ways that don’t satisfy us or leave us with a temporary fix that quickly fades away. 

I want you to know that God heals and restores. Every wound, every part that is broken. He does not leave us to fend for ourselves in the wilderness. God has a plan and he will do the work needed to complete it. God created us and we are loved. These verses aren’t just words, they are food for the spirit. 

Every person was knit together by God. We have worth solely by existing because he loves us. The enemy hates us because of this. Even so, God gives us a freedom and an identity through Christ that doesn’t leave us searching or longing. If you’re struggling, just know that God is always with you and you are so so so so loved by our creator. Your story isn’t finished until God says it’s finished. 

Psalm 139:14 – “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

1 Samuel 16:7 – “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’”

Genesis 1:26-27 – “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”


The armor of God

Just like soldiers have to be ready for war with equipment and training, we have to be constantly armed and ready for spiritual warfare. Though our battles may be long and difficult, God did not leave us to fend for ourselves. He has already won the war through Christ Jesus. There is a war out there for your heart, spirit, and peace. Your priceless heart is so valuable, and God has given us all that we need to fight our battles. In Ephesians 6:10-18, Paul tells us of the armor which is given to us by God and through His Word. The battles that we fight are not of flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (v. 12). We are told that we must take up the WHOLE (complete, and not lacking) armor of God in order to be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm (v. 13). Each day we must put on the whole armor of God to be able to stand against the schemes of the devil (v. 10).

ARMOR OF GOD:

14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (V. 6:14-20) ESV

In Ephesians 6:19-20, the Apostle Paul asks God to help him in opening his mouth boldly to proclaim the Gospel, for which he is an ambassador in chains. Paul expresses that declaring God’s truth is absolutely the right thing to do, and keeping quiet would not be honorable. To me, this is a shocking response considering he had already been imprisoned for spreading God’s Word. How amazing is that? He calls himself an ‘ambassador in chains’. He had already been imprisoned for being an ambassador of God and his Word, yet he asks God to help him have the words to boldly proclaim the mystery of the gospel (v. 19).

We are called to use the tools that God has given us in order to survive the attacks of the enemy and to use the tools against the tactics that the enemy throws against us. God is so good that even though the war is already won, he has given us the WHOLE armor of God, everything we need to fight the battles that come our way. I absolutely love this and it just makes my heart gush because it shows me just a glimpse of how much we are loved. God has prepared us and given us all we need for a VICTORY THAT IS ALREADY OURS. Death is defeated, we are offered eternal life through Jesus, AND though our lives may be tough to handle in our time on this earth – we are given all we need to fight the battles that God has already won for us. We don’t need to go through the motions, we don’t need to fear, and we certainly don’t need to feel defeated. We are to pray at all times, keep alert, and persevere (v. 18).

Paul ends this letter beautifully,

23 Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 24 Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. (Ephesians 6:23-24) (ESV).

PRAYER

God, help me to always remember that I lack nothing in loving and knowing you. You have given me all I need to persevere, I lack nothing in your presence. I pray that you would guide me in your ways, and help me keep my armor on. You have prepared me to fight the battles I face in my time on this earth, and you have already claimed my victory in advance. I want to thank you for your goodness, your grace, and your love. All of which I do not fully comprehend, yet you overflow my heart with your peace and you are beside me through all circumstances and situations that I have faced, and will face. Help me to always remember that I am an ambassador for Christ, and I ought to boldly proclaim my faith and your good Works throughout my life. Help me have the confidence and perseverance that I need to keep my faith in you, God. You never fail me and you never will. Thank you for dying on the cross for me, and for never forsaking me. Amen.”


To my younger self

If I could go back in time, I would just encourage myself. I would show up at certain points of my life where I thought the world was going to end. I would remind myself how important it is to put God first. I would not focus on my appearance, and the things that others had to say about it. I would not shed tears over things that mean nothing to me now. I would allow myself more time to grow, and to be patient in the process. I would be there for myself at times where I felt others weren’t, and I would tell myself over and over that I am loved, I am worthy, I am strong, and that I am free. I would allow myself to seek God and tell myself the good things that were to come, but also about the rough season that would slip in-between those good times. I would give myself a reminder that my bible is always beside me, and within reach. I would emphasize that fear is a lie, and that God always pulls me out of the dark. There’s so many things I would say to my younger self that even now, still apply to me, and different aspects of who I am. Writing a letter to my younger self is also a letter to my current self, and my older self. Though I can’t see the future, my thoughts and emotions try to worry ahead of time for my future self, even in the ‘here and now’. Looking back allows me to say “I’ve gone through this already, and though the times are different, the plan is still the same.” God’s plan doesn’t quit, it doesn’t waiver, and it doesn’t lose track of us. Though we may make decisions that seem like a detour, God’s looking at the bigger picture. Everyday he offers opportunities to trust in him, to be in his presence, and to break free from old things. We can get so caught up in the things of the earth because we live our physical lives here. We are constantly bombarded with lies, and tempted with distractions. Despite this, God always extends a hand. The more we trust Him, the more we SPEND TIME WITH GOD – the more we are reminded of the truth and who God is. 

Don’t allow yourself to believe lies, and be constrained with the ways of the world and the distractions that are unavoidable. Be there for yourself, and plan for the future. Speak to God, pray for your future, and seek God now and always so your heart will see that the future is bright and God is always with you. If you focus on your past, you can’t move ahead. If you allow yourself to trust God and allow him to remove those thorns of the past that stick out and throb,  — you can build up your faith, and not have to worry or be constrained by your past. You will live in freedom. 

Verses to meditate on: 

PSALM 18:23 (AMP)

“I was upright before Him and blameless with Him, ever [on guard] to keep myself free from my sin and guilt.”

DEUTERONOMY 31:6 (ESV)

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave or forsake you.”

2 CORINTHIANS 5:17 (ESV)

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”


Let’s get real

let’s get real

Do you ever have days where you feel discouraged, or in a ‘Spiritual Slump’? (YES, I said it). I want to be real with you. There are days when I don’t feel like reading my bible, or praying, or even getting up out of bed. If you’ve ever been in a slump before, you know it makes you feel down, discouraged, and like your faith isn’t moving mountains.

I gave my life to Christ when I was twelve years old. Since then, I can honestly say that I haven’t felt my faith to have always been consistently strong throughout my everyday life over the last eleven years. There were periods of time where I wasn’t involved in church, I wasn’t reading the Word, I wasn’t praying consistently, and I wasn’t acknowledging God in everything I was doing.

I’ve gone through a few trials in life so far, that really challenged my faith and increased my fear. Though, now at twenty-three I am confident in my relationship with God and I feel so much more mature, spiritually. I struggled with guilt and shame because I felt I could have been so much more faithful and consistent through my difficult times, and God would pull me out of the dark anyways. This is why I feel that it’s so important to sit and B R E A T H E, even if just for a moment everyday. The world changes so much, so quickly, and so unexpectedly that it can leave us feeling like “What’s next?”.

I love reading the book of Psalms, because it is one of the main parts of the bible that shows us the good, bad, and the ugly. In Psalm 13, David feels that God has forgotten him and hidden his face from him (v. 1). In verses 5 and 6, he says “but I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation (v. 5). I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me (v. 6)”.

Psalm 13

I want to encourage you to follow these four steps the next time you feel that God has forgotten you, or like your faith is low.

1. TRUST in God’s promises

2. REJOICE in your salvation

3. PRAISE his name

4. REFRESH your spirit, and PRAY.

Whenever we feel that are faith is lacking, we need to be reminded of our trust in God and the promises he has made for us. We need to rejoice, praise his name, and refresh our spirit through consistent prayer. Remember that God is always with us and we are never alone. Psalm 16:8 (ESV) tells us “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” Psalm 16:11 also tells us “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

I want to encourage you to not be discouraged. God has already won the war of the battles that we face everyday. When we are deep in our sorrow (I have been there) it clouds our vision of the future that God has planned. Remember that God made these promises, knowing our every move from the minute we are born until the moment we pass away. He is still here. Do not give up. No matter what you are going through, tell God everything – the good, the bad, the messy feelings and regrets. He wants it all.

No matter who you are or where you think you are headed, our God has so much more for you. Don’t allow the enemy to convince you otherwise. Life is tough but God is stronger than anything that has a grip on you. He never gives up on you. He’s there with open arms, no matter what you feel guilty about or however long its been. It is time for you to hold onto the hands that are extended to you, and trust that there is so much more.