don’t be such a perfectionist

I want to be real with you guys. I don’t want to get caught up in all the societal madness and standards of digital creation. 

I think it’s beautiful that we get to share scripture and connect with people from all over on a digital platform. 

I just want to share content with you that may encourage or invite you to see for yourself what a real relationship with God is. 

Digital platforms can be wiped away in the blink of an eye. 

I just want to share what’s on my heart, and I just pray that you would be encouraged to seek God yourself. 

Perfectionism leads to a vicious cycle. Don’t entertain a hunger for perfection. You’ll empty yourself again and again, running in circles. Perfect looks different for everybody.

I don’t want to find it in myself everyday to cover up my acne, or wear mascara, or feel down because my face was puffy when I woke up this morning. 

I want to know where my heart is and what God is doing in me. In this season, I’ve learned so much about true identity. The more I focus on God, the less I see to obsess over in myself. I don’t want to be perfect by the ever-changing standards of society. I want to see Christ. 


This is just a page from my art journal, real handwritten (unedited) thoughts, and a regular selfie with no edits because I’m not here to meet a standard, I’m just here to be me.  

Matthew 5:6

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”

Matthew 19:21 

Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

in your prescence, there is peace

Healing is not always a single ‘moment’. 

I feel like for some time I was waiting for some radical change, grand revelation, reassurance, or even just confirmation that I am whole and healed. 

I was feeling like I had to reach a point where I put my feet on the ground every morning thinking “okay, this is me, this is what I do. I have reason and purpose. I don’t have questions about anything. I know who I am, and I’m good.”

I was waiting for some sort of acknowledgment, or the lighting of a match almost. A fire within me that would blind me from the fear and anxiety that crippled my mind. 

I was just thinking that through the healing process,  “I’m not enough right now.”

“My heart is not in a place for new things, yet.”

Thinking “I am waiting to reach a point where I know that things are different.” The “Aha!” moment. I’ll just wake up one morning and I’ll hit the ground running. 

It wasn’t news to me that I was broken. I felt broken and I knew of the tainted areas in my life that God had washed away. But I didn’t know (and don’t ever need to know) the answer to everything. My mind was occupied by all the wrongs and I felt like I deserved to feel bad for sometime. I was torn with condemnation. 

God doesn’t owe me anything. No insight or glimpses into the plan He has for me. Even if I have to go my whole life trusting and believing with faith the size of a mustard seed, that’s all I need, and  I wouldn’t turn away. The Holy Spirit gives us grace and when we seek Him first, He shows us the healing through his ways. 

He shows us what love really looks like. 

He shows us what life was really meant to feel/live like. 

Truth is, when we realize the tainted areas of ourselves that bring shame, disgust, and other deadening emotions – God already knows all of this from the beginning to the end.  

A life with Christ is never about reaching perfection or righting all the wrongs. Yes, we need to repent and turn away from old things but the reason is because what we are created for is REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. God wants us to seek Him.  To get back to this, we need to be honest with ourselves and come to God with an open heart. 

Don’t worry about what your parents/family did (or are doing), don’t worry about what those people said, don’t worry about what the enemy tries to trip you up with. Come to God and earnestly seek to learn his character, and in turn you will understand who you really are. Forgiving ourselves and each other isn’t about forgetting and excusing the wrongdoings, its about fully opening our hearts to be healed and transformed through His love and forgiveness. 

Good things take time. 

Healthy relationships take time and effort. 

Identity is not blurry or confusing, and certainly not “fluid”. 

You are who you are because God created you and he is inviting you into his presence. It’s not scary or disappointing to need healing (a lie I once believed). 

God knew you and your troubles before you could even understand or comprehend any detail of this life. 

We are so loved. We are not perfect and things are not always going to be the way that they are. There is a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3), and the Holy Spirit gives us grace and guidance through it all. 

God is author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12). Don’t let anyone’s actions define God, and by all means don’t allow the enemy’s toxicity to paralyze you. 

Fight the good fight (2 Timothy 4:7). Fight for your mind and your heart (its never too late to start). God has already won this war, you don’t need to worry about the little battles in this life. 

I’m not inviting apathy or carelessness by encouraging those who read this not to worry about anything. I’m trying to invoke a new perspective on the lies that once enveloped my mind, and may be doing the same in yours. 

I’m writing about full surrender. About understanding that we don’t need to be obsessed with hitting the mark every time and suddenly spiraling down a rabbit hole of fear, shame, guilt, anxiety, and self-hatred when condemnation seeps in. 

We have the power to fight. You are not left to your own devices (Ephesians 6), and no matter how long it takes you to get out of the rabbit hole just know that the Holy Spirit is with you. There’s so much more that I could go on about, but my point is that healing is not a simple equation for us to figure out or solve. 

Healing is found in the truth. The truth that sets us free (John 8:32). Life is continuous. It goes on and on until the end of time. There isn’t anything new under the sun, but no matter what era, century, year, or day you are alive during – God cares and He is there. God knows the beginning and the end. We don’t need to worry, we just need to trust in Him. We need to stand firm in His promise and persevere. He doesn’t leave us alone to figure all this out. We have the Holy Spirit, and we have our identity in Christ. 

We need God’s strength everyday, not just when we want something or go through something. ‘Christ is risen’ applies to every day, every person, and every situation. 

The enemy can try all he wants to disarm believers, and sometimes we do fall and claim defeat. God calls us to Him, and He draws us near, no matter how many times we have to get back up and keep going. 

Just remember that it’s all a process and God is faithful. God wants to hear us tell Him our joys and all our troubles in this life. Allow yourself to seek God, yourself. Don’t base your faith or who God is simply on your environment or the people surrounding you. Ask God for depth and pure, whole-hearted relationship with Him. 

You won’t be disappointed. You’ll soon learn what true love looks like, and the depths that bring you the greatest of peace and comforts. 

holy spirit indwelling

Romans 8:9

“You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit,

if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you.

Anyone who does not have the

Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.”

1 Corinthians 6:19 

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of

the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?

You are not your own,”

John 14:26 

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father

will send in my name, he will teach you all

things and bring to your remembrance all that

I have said to you.”

Romans 8:26 

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

For we do not know what to pray for as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us

with groanings too deep for words.”

a trip to portland, oregon

God is so good. I know I practically start almost every post like this, but I really mean it. I hate to think that I have doubted God in the past and that I was someone that didn’t hold on to hope but I was that person. I reached a point where I could not see the bright of anything at all. A glass half empty or nearly empty was the mindset that occupied my mind. I don’t feel that way anymore. Seeing how God works and intricately weaves purpose and grace together for my good.

He is goodness.

He is grace.

I hate to think I ever doubted God. I’m reminded every day that his mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). God is everything I have ever longed for or needed. I lack nothing in Christ. His grace surrounds me, His mercy follows me wherever I go.

I just pray that I would remain fervent in spirit (Romans 12:11). No matter the circumstance. No matter the fear or distraction that the enemy tries to distract me with. I know who I am because Christ lives in me……

I know who I am because Christ lives in me.

We still raise our flag

We are fighting a battle within the war.

Let there be many trials and tribulations, 

this does not stop the plans of God. 

The enemy plots against us, 

yet he knows we are on the winning side. 

We take joy in these trials. 

We will still raise our flag. 

self-harm awareness month

It’s #SelfHarmAwarenessMonth. I just wanted to share some verses that pertain to who we are in Christ, and how God sees us. Sometimes we go through trials in our life and we try to cope in ways that don’t satisfy us or leave us with a temporary fix that quickly fades away. 

I want you to know that God heals and restores. Every wound, every part that is broken. He does not leave us to fend for ourselves in the wilderness. God has a plan and he will do the work needed to complete it. God created us and we are loved. These verses aren’t just words, they are food for the spirit. 

Every person was knit together by God. We have worth solely by existing because he loves us. The enemy hates us because of this. Even so, God gives us a freedom and an identity through Christ that doesn’t leave us searching or longing. If you’re struggling, just know that God is always with you and you are so so so so loved by our creator. Your story isn’t finished until God says it’s finished. 

Psalm 139:14 – “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

1 Samuel 16:7 – “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’”

Genesis 1:26-27 – “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Let’s get real

let’s get real

Do you ever have days where you feel discouraged, or in a ‘Spiritual Slump’? (YES, I said it). I want to be real with you. There are days when I don’t feel like reading my bible, or praying, or even getting up out of bed. If you’ve ever been in a slump before, you know it makes you feel down, discouraged, and like your faith isn’t moving mountains.

I gave my life to Christ when I was twelve years old. Since then, I can honestly say that I haven’t felt my faith to have always been consistently strong throughout my everyday life over the last eleven years. There were periods of time where I wasn’t involved in church, I wasn’t reading the Word, I wasn’t praying consistently, and I wasn’t acknowledging God in everything I was doing.

I’ve gone through a few trials in life so far, that really challenged my faith and increased my fear. Though, now at twenty-three I am confident in my relationship with God and I feel so much more mature, spiritually. I struggled with guilt and shame because I felt I could have been so much more faithful and consistent through my difficult times, and God would pull me out of the dark anyways. This is why I feel that it’s so important to sit and B R E A T H E, even if just for a moment everyday. The world changes so much, so quickly, and so unexpectedly that it can leave us feeling like “What’s next?”.

I love reading the book of Psalms, because it is one of the main parts of the bible that shows us the good, bad, and the ugly. In Psalm 13, David feels that God has forgotten him and hidden his face from him (v. 1). In verses 5 and 6, he says “but I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation (v. 5). I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me (v. 6)”.

Psalm 13

I want to encourage you to follow these four steps the next time you feel that God has forgotten you, or like your faith is low.

1. TRUST in God’s promises

2. REJOICE in your salvation

3. PRAISE his name

4. REFRESH your spirit, and PRAY.

Whenever we feel that are faith is lacking, we need to be reminded of our trust in God and the promises he has made for us. We need to rejoice, praise his name, and refresh our spirit through consistent prayer. Remember that God is always with us and we are never alone. Psalm 16:8 (ESV) tells us “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” Psalm 16:11 also tells us “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

I want to encourage you to not be discouraged. God has already won the war of the battles that we face everyday. When we are deep in our sorrow (I have been there) it clouds our vision of the future that God has planned. Remember that God made these promises, knowing our every move from the minute we are born until the moment we pass away. He is still here. Do not give up. No matter what you are going through, tell God everything – the good, the bad, the messy feelings and regrets. He wants it all.

No matter who you are or where you think you are headed, our God has so much more for you. Don’t allow the enemy to convince you otherwise. Life is tough but God is stronger than anything that has a grip on you. He never gives up on you. He’s there with open arms, no matter what you feel guilty about or however long its been. It is time for you to hold onto the hands that are extended to you, and trust that there is so much more.

Self love and daily affirmations

daily affirmations & bible verses

If you’re anything like me, you may experience burnout pretty often. Between work, school, responsibilities, and trying to squeeze in some fun once in a while — it can seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day and you can’t get anything done. I constantly need to re-route the thoughts in my mind that say I’m not enough, I can’t do this or that, or that I’m all alone in my problems & issues. 

These things make me feel so vulnerable and I feel guilt and shame for just for having a bad day or feeling down & anxious. 

If this is you, I want you to know that you aren’t alone & that this is not the end. There’s so much more for you. God has created you exactly as you are and he loves you. There isn’t any single person on the earth, nor that has ever lived that is an exception to that. 

Sometimes we need to shine a little light in our own lives, and we can do that by seeking God. For instance, I’m overwhelmed at moment with homework, laundry, and preparing for another week at work. These things may seem silly and there isn’t anything wrong with those tasks. These are mundane things that I do regularly – but, when I’m running my to-do list, anxiety creeps in. I start worrying about days that haven’t even come to pass. I want to be living here & now. I want to take a minute to BREATHE. 

If you’re feeling anxious and you’re thoughts are spiraling: 

  1. You are not alone 
  2. Take a minute to BREATHE 
  3. Sit somewhere quiet and read the daily affirmations (in the picture above), changing ‘you’ for ‘I’ 
  4. Jot down the Bible verses alongside the affirmations & highlight them in your bible 
  5. Remember that whatever you are feeling does not reflect who or how you are – but is simply the stress you feel in your current situation 

It is difficult, when feeling down/anxious/emotional to separate our situation with our individual being and relationship with God. If you’re anything like me, you may internalize your emotions and your thoughts tend to dictate how you may feel about yourself. Just know that those NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WILL LEAVE. Even at 23, I am still learning what self-love is. Sometimes it is just taking a moment to say “hey, you are loved.” “You are beautiful.” “You are unique – and there isn’t anything wrong with that.” 

Don’t let the enemy steal your joy, take your happiness and convince you of anything opposite to what God says about you and who you are. 

This spiritual battle that we fight – it begins in our mind. 

STAND YOUR GROUND. Flip those negative thoughts into bible verses and positive affirmations. We are all loved. We are all forgiven. We all exist and have a purpose that is handpicked by God. Don’t let the enemy deter you from your truth. Pain is real and life has some bad times. No matter the reason for what you are feeling, YOU ARE YOU! There isn’t any better way to be! 💛