Surrendering My Desires to Heaven

Hi there, my name is Angie, and I am thrilled that you are reading this post today! I am truly expectant that readers will be encouraged through this platform, and I feel blessed to have a small space on here to spark hope and awaken courage. For my first post, I would love to share with you my testimony and exalt the Lord’s faithfulness and goodness.

Growing up in a Christian home as a Missionary kid and then as a Pastor’s kid, being involved in the ministry was the norm for me. However, I soon came to the point where I had to evaluate my Christian faith separate from my parents.

At the start of my college experience, I took my future into my own hands. I planned exactly what the next four to five years of my life would look like and how I would reach these goals, and I had no intent in confiding my aspirations with God. I was determined to succeed on my own strength.

When Christ was no longer the center of my life or the decisions I was making for myself, fear and uncertainty of the future began to creep in.

I found myself in the wrong relationships, searching for validation in the wrong places, which only allowed the enemy to chain me down with shame and feelings of worthlessness.

For several years prior, I had struggled with Hypochondria (an obsession with the idea of having a life-threatening disease), but during this time, I was battling it more than I ever had before. I found myself at several doctor visits, on antidepressants, and therapy. I felt suffocated by my worry and overwhelmed with hopelessness.

Suddenly, the Lord intervened in my life. I will forever be grateful to Him for disrupting my plans, flipping my world upside down, and revealing to me His higher purpose for my life.

I had to ask myself an important question, which I highly encourage you to ask yourself today, “Do my dreams align with what the Lord has for me, and am I living a life worthy of God?”.

I felt lost, unsure about the future, and carried a heavyweight of shame, fear, and anxiety. I said enough was enough, and after graduating from community college, I packed my bags and went to a discipleship training school. I had no idea what to expect, I had no idea what I was doing, but one thing I knew for certain, I was exhausted of chasing after my selfish ambitions. My soul yearned to know Him more and receive His guidance.

During my time there, the Lord placed heavily on my heart His plan for me. To be a part of what He was doing in the lives of those around me. He called me into the mission field, where I spent three months in Nepal, serving the people in the nation.

In the past year, the Lord has taught me what it means to surrender my dreams and desires fully. He taught me what it means to submit oneself, to step into what He is doing in the lives of other people.

I had to give over control of my own life and allow myself to be led by Christ. Witnessing the impact the Lord made in the lives of people through my obedience to serve His kingdom has significantly marked me. I have found greater joy serving the Kingdom than I ever did serving myself.

When I surrendered my desires to heaven, the Lord gave me fullness of joy, hope for the future, stripped me of my shame, and gave me the strength to overcome my fears.

Jeremiah 10:23 says, “LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their own steps,” as humans we have this tendency to set our own path, be the ruler of our lives. This world encourages us to follow our hearts, achieve self-actualization, chase after our ambitions, however separate from God, we are incapable of attaining our own true destiny.

Mathew 6:33 says to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” The Lord knows the desires of your heart; He knows your needs as well as your wants. When you surrender it all to Him and seek to honor Him first above all else, He promises heavenly treasures, divine blessings, and fulfillment of His purpose in your life!

Giving Him full reign over my life has been the best decision I could have ever made. I have never been more expectant for the future and more confident in my God-given purpose. He has captivated my heart like no other could.